Instill Hope To Gain Support

The law: People will only act correctly if they believe there is a reason to.

Narcissists understand this theory well, always holding a carrot in front of someone to get them to do what they want. But you can use the same concept in order to illicit more harmony - whether in your romantic relationship or in the team culture at your job. 

Simply put, reciprocity gives people a reason to operate at a higher frequency.

That is essentially what hope is. They are willing to put forth effort in the idea that it will bring good. 

In today’s world, people are exhausted. They are jaded from not being appreciated or rewarded appropriately for their hard work. Inflation, less opportunities for wealth, unstable government - it all contributes to this effect.

People are unsettled - like a scared animal that’s been abused.  

Operating from this fear, they enter every exchange with these pent up frustrations. They are immediately wary to give anything more - whether it’s a simple smile in a meeting, or signing up to lead the new project. 

It doesn’t help that we are all operating at this level. We often shut people down without even noticing it, removing any reason for them to behave as we hope.

Get out of this cycle by approaching every interaction from a perspective of approaching a scared animal. 

Show them compassion for what they are going through, and describe to them what you are trying to do and WHY. Explain the better future that you are trying to attain.

This future must be mutually beneficial, even better if it helps “the greater good.” 

Even if you have bad relations with this person from previous interactions, if you comfort them from this angle, they will be likely to sign up to your cause. 

Humans like order and stability. We like clear expectations, and clear rewards. We even enjoy having a meaningful purpose. Defining the task and what will come of it removes the block of fear, and allows hope to enter. 

You can test this simply the next time you order food through a delivery app. Add a note at the bottom stating “tips given for great service!” Watch how it enables someone to rise to the occasion. 

If used correctly, both people leave the interaction feeling positively.

We want to help each other, we are just scared to put ourselves in a vulnerable position.